Finding My Way

You raise me up

2010-07-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

Human Footprint

2010-01-31T00:38:00.000-08:00

What a man/woman consume in his/her whole life time.

Pjous Jevit Yuk' Vak Vey

2009-07-01T03:13:00.000-07:00

Enjoy this!! It's fresh, they speak with their own voice. The song is also good.

How can you change another person?

2009-05-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Q: How can you change another person?
A: You cannot change another person, however there are things you can do to assist someone who has asked you to help them change. The techniques of motivational interviewing can help someone resolve their ambivalence, uncertainty, and indecision about change, set a new and clear direction, increase their commitment to change, help them plan the steps they need to take, and give them confidence to make the changes they have decided on. The book Motivational Interviewing, by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick describes the technique in detail.

If someone has decided to make a change in their life, they may invite or request your assistance. Certainly you can help them. Before acting to help another person change it is important to preserve their autonomy, help them act consistently with their values, and overcome their inevitable urges to indulge impulses. Consider the example of a friend who asks you to help them stop smoking. Begin by agreeing on your role—what it is they want you to do and don’t want you to do. Who announces their plan for quitting smoking? If you see them smoking, or smell smoke, or see cigarettes or ashes around their house, what do they want you do? If they beg you to “let them have just one cigarette today and that will be all for the week” how should you respond? Understand and do what they actually want, not what you think they want or what you want for them. You can always encourage them to change for the better, but avoid nagging, coercing, patronizing, indulging, enabling, extorting, or coercing them.

Keep in mind that pleasing someone may not be helping them. You can please someone by assisting them in satisfying an impulse. But you may be indulging them rather than helping them. To help someone you have to assist them in acting consistently with their values. That may be much more difficult. This is the distinction between short-term pleasure and long-term gratification. Understand this distinction, and how the person you are offering to help wants you to do handle this inevitable conflict.

You can provide incentives to help someone make a positive change in their lives. For example, parents may offer money to a student for getting good grades. But in planning this approach it is important to understand the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Use the money briefly only to focus on a goal of helping the student discover effective study habits and the intrinsic joys of learning, discovering, and achieving. These can provide life-long benefits. If instead the transaction degenerates into the narrow deal “no money, no work” then when the money stops, the studying stops, and the student has learned only greed, instrumental behavior, and dependency. The play stops when the pay stops.

Influence causes change. People are remarkably susceptible to influence. We buy the latest fashions, prefer Pepsi over Coke, listen to the music that is most cleverly promoted, submit to many forms of peer pressure, and go along with the crowd, even if that requires becoming the rebel. Influence—achieving belief—is a powerful approach to changing what people believe, think, and do. It is effective, nearly invisible, and ubiquitous. Some influences, for example choosing an excellent role model, are constructive. Many influences, such as the ones that cause you to start smoking because you think it will make you cool, are destructive. Pay attention to the influences in your life, and make decisions based on your own well thought-out core values, not on today’s fads.

You can describe how you would like the person to change, why you believe it would be beneficial, and ask them to change. Engage them in a dialogue about the benefits of the change. Perhaps they will agree with your thinking and grant your request.

How you treat another person certainly affects how they behave, and how they treat you. When you treat someone respectfully as an intelligent peer, they are likely to respond similarly to you. If you treat them disrespectfully, they are likely to retaliate in some way. Both parties participate in each relationship. Perhaps the best way to get someone to change is to change how you treat them.

Coercion changes immediate behavior but often at the cost of long term resentment and anxiety. It causes people to act out of fear, or to select from a smaller set of alternatives. Coercive threats, ranging from “share your candy with me or I won’t be your best friend” to “Give me your money or I’ll shoot” are fast acting and long lasting. But they still depend on the free will of the victim. Gandhi said “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” People resent coercion, the vindictive passions run strong, they rarely ever forget, and they are passionate about revenge and retaliation. Coercion relies on fear and unleashes anger, hatred, and the destructive cycle of revenge. It is a short sighted expediency with long-term costs.

Because you cannot change another person, you may decide that the best way to move forward with your life is to disengage from theirs. If they don’t understand their freedom ends where yours begins then it may be best to keep them at a distance. They have no right to trespass on your privacy, time, space, or attention. The intent in disengaging is to protect yourself so you can move forward with your life. It is not to punish them, teach them a lesson, or to ensure they get what they deserve. It may be helpful to discuss with them your reasons for the separation.

It is always helpful to keep in mind what you can change and what you cannot. It helps to attain the wisdom to know the difference. Certainly you cannot change the past, human nature, personality, or the laws of mathematics and physics. You can only change another person if they truly want to change and have requested your help in making the change.

You Can Only Change Yourself

2009-05-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

One of life’s hardest lessons to learn is that you can only change yourself.

Some people spend inordinate amounts of time and energy upset, angry, or frustrated by other people’s thoughts and behaviors.

But to what end? You can rail against the rain or feel sanguine about the snow, but there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Why should we, by default, believe we can change another person’s — an independent, thinking self just like us — behaviors and thoughts with just a few choice words? If you think about it for a minute, it sounds kind of ridiculous.

Yet we don’t think about it when we have an emotional reaction to someone else’s behavior or words. We say things like, “How could they say such a thing!” or “How can anyone be so rude!?” or “Don’t they know how much they hurt me? Why do they do that?!”

We often react in this way because our emotions are a part of most people’s innate decision-making skills. We react and respond emotionally to emotional needs of our own, rather than in a logical, rational manner. So when someone touches one of these emotional needs, we can respond in a way that may not make a whole lot of sense to an outside observer.

What you can do, just once, is to make a polite request for another to stop the behavior that you find frustrating, annoying or disturbing. But that’s it, just once (or maybe twice, if you feel the person really didn’t hear or understand the initial request). After that, you just become a nag and will be ignored. Repeating something over and over again doesn’t suddenly make people more aware of themselves, it just makes them aware of how annoying you can be.

There’s no magic to stopping trying to change other people’s behavior. Catch your thoughts (by writing them down in a journal or blog, for instance) when you find yourself saying something like, “I wish she wouldn’t do..” or “I can’t believe he thinks that…” — things like that. Making a note of it, mental or otherwise, allows you to pause your automatic thinking before you jump to the next step in your response (which is usually to say something to the person).

If you’ve already said something, now’s the time to stop and go no further. Unless you’re the other person’s parent, they’ve probably already heard it and may have even tried stopping the behavior. Hearing it again isn’t going to suddenly change their behavior.

People can spend weeks, months and in some cases years in psychotherapy working on changing their thoughts or behaviors. That’s because such change often takes that long to understand, practice, and then implement. Behaviors most important to others are also likely behaviors that are important to ourselves and not readily changed, even if we wanted to. They sometimes are integrated part of another’s personality or way of thinking about and looking at the entire world.

So save yourself some frustration today and try to learn to stop trying to change others. Focus instead on changing your own faults and you may find yourself living a happier and more peaceful life.

Dr. John Grohol is the CEO and founder of Psych Central and has been writing about mental health and psychology issues online since 1992.

How Do You Change Yourself?

2009-05-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

What Is Happiness?

If you are thinking about changing your life for the better, one way to start is by identifying your goals. You are probably hoping to find some version of happiness or emotional well-being. That might look like any combination of the following:

• A sense of freedom
• Self-esteem
• Self-confidence
• Happy to get up in the morning
• Working toward goals
• A sense of purpose in life
• Satisfying relationships

What Is Unhappiness?

If you are thinking about changing your life, you may be experiencing some combination of the following elements:

• Feeling sad, lethargic or depressed
• Feeling afraid
• Abusing or being addicted to alcohol or drugs
• Feeling lonely
• Anxiety
• Problems with relationships
• Not getting what you want in life; feeling frustrated in working toward goals
• Not caring enough to have goals

How Will You Change?

When you decide to change your life, try the following ideas.

1. Explore your feelings. Keep a journal, talk to a trusted friend, work with a professional counselor.

2. Envision your future. Write in a journal, make a collage, do a guided visualization, talk to a friend or counselor, research the possibilities.

3. Explore wishes and dreams. Keep a journal, talk to a trusted friend, work with a professional counselor.

4. Be open to new ideas. Take a class, travel, say yes to things you may have avoided in the past.

5. Look for kindred spirits. Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself, seek out those who make you blossom, reach out to those with similar interests and dreams.

6. Try something different. Deliberately buy new items, try different brands, shop at different stores, do the opposite of what you usually do, see different movies, read different kinds of books and magazines.

7. Set goals and targets. Learn how to set useful goals, follow through, evaluate progress regularly, reward yourself for achievement.

8. Take one step at a time. Divide your goals into tiny pieces and do one small new thing each day, starting now.

9. Look for lessons. Remind yourself that experiences are not good or bad; they are simply lessons.

How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Have you ever noticed that when you think about changing your life, you feel resistant? Many people say that they not only feel resistant, but they actually do things to keep their lives familiar. They do things like start a diet and then eat a candy bar on the first day, or quit smoking and then sneak a puff.

There are some things you can do to make yourself less resistant. Here are six effective strategies:

1. Eliminate clutter. Clutter can be viewed as a sign of uncertainty. Accumulating "stuff" might be stopping you from committing to an important thing. If you keep a lot of half-started projects around, it makes it difficult to zero in on the really important things.

2. Start small. Thinking of your overall goal can be overwhelming. So manage your resistance by choosing one small part of it and attacking it today. Let's say your goal is to lose 20 pounds. That can certainly seem like an impossible thing to accomplish. It will seem more doable if you tell yourself, I'm going to lose five pounds by (date).

3. Disprove your disempowering beliefs. In Reinventing Your Life, authors Young and Klosko suggest that you identify the beliefs that keep you from succeeding. They offer a way to dispute those beliefs by asking, "Is there really an evidence today that this belief is true?" They suggest making a list of the evidence.

4. Remind yourself of all of your available options. You always have alternatives and the power to choose among them.

5. Take responsibility for what you want. Look for signs that you are blaming your situation on others or not admitting past mistakes. Acknowledge them and move on.

6. Visualize the future. Author Barbara Sher suggests one way to do this: Write an imaginary press release about yourself. The date is today's date, two years in the future. The press release is announcing the most extraordinary event you can think of. It doesn't matter whether this event seems only vaguely possible to you. The important thing is that it is exciting to imagine.

When to Seek Professional Help

Sometimes it makes sense to find a professional counselor to work with as you work through the change process. Here are some ways to know when that would be appropriate:

1. You've tried several things but you still have the problem.

2. You want to find a solution sooner rather than later.

3. You have thoughts of harming yourself or others.

4. You have symptoms of depression, anxiety, or another disorder that are significantly interfering with your daily functioning and the quality of your life. For example, you have lost time from work, your relationships have been harmed, your health is suffering. These are signs that you may need the help of a trained, licensed professional.

Garrett Coan, MSW, LCSW is Founder and Director of the Center for Creative Counseling, a team of expert and licensed therapists and coaches providing phone and internet counseling services to clients throughout the United States and worldwide. A full library of articles from this author are available at http://www.stressmanagementboutique.com/Article_Library.html To arrange a no-obligation, complimentary consultation, call 1-877-95-UGROW (1-877-958-4769) or visit them on the Web at http://www.creativecounselors.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Garrett_Coan

Garrett Coan - EzineArticles Expert Author

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

2009-05-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

* Habit 1: Be Proactive: Principles of Personal Choice
* Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind: Principles of Personal Vision
* Habit 3: Put First Things First: Principles of Integrity & Execution
* Habit 4: Think Win/Win: Principles of Mutual Benefit
* Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood: Principles of Mutual Understanding
* Habit 6: Synergize: Principles of Creative Cooperation
* Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw: Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal

The chapters are dedicated to each of the habits, which are represented by the following imperatives:

1. Habit 1: Covey emphasizes the original sense of the term "proactive" as coined by Victor Frankl. You can either be proactive or reactive when it comes to how you respond to certain things. When you are reactive, you blame other people and circumstances for obstacles or problems. Being proactive means taking responsibility for every aspect of your life. Initiative and taking action will then follow. Covey also argues that man is different from other animals in that he has self-consciousness. He has the ability to detach himself and observe his own self; think about his thoughts. He goes on to say how this attribute enables him: It gives him the power not to be affected by his circumstances. Covey talks about stimulus and response. Between stimulus and response, we have the power of free will to choose our response.
2. Habit 2: This chapter is about setting long-term goals based on "true north" principles. Covey recommends formulating a "Personal Mission Statement" to document one's perception of one's own vision in life. He sees visualization as an important tool to develop this. He also deals with organizational mission statements, which he claims to be more effective if developed and supported by all members of an organization rather than prescribed.
3. Habit 3: Covey describes a framework for prioritizing work that is aimed at long-term goals, at the expense of tasks that appear to be urgent, but are in fact less important. Delegation is presented as an important part of time management. Successful delegation, according to Covey, focuses on results and benchmarks that are to be agreed in advance, rather than on prescribing detailed work plans. Habit three is greatly expanded on in the follow on book First Things First.
4. Habit 4: An attitude whereby mutually beneficial solutions are sought that satisfy the needs of oneself as well as others, or, in the case of a conflict, both parties involved.
5. Habit 5: Covey warns that giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in that advice being rejected. Thoroughly listening to another person's concerns instead of reading out your own autobiography is purported to increase the chance of establishing a working communication.
6. Habit 6: A way of working in teams. Apply effective problem solving. Apply collaborative decision making. Value differences. Build on divergent strengths. Leverage creative collaboration. Embrace and leverage innovation. It is put forth that when synergy is pursued as a habit, the result of the teamwork will exceed the sum of what each of the members could have achieved on their own. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
7. Habit 7: Focuses on balanced self-renewal: Regain what Covey calls "production capability" by engaging in carefully selected recreational activities. Covey also emphasizes the need to sharpen the mind.

Habits of successful people

2009-05-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

Habits of successful people….

1. They look for and find opportunities where others see nothing.

2. They find a lesson while others only see a problem.

3. They are solution focused.

4. They consciously and methodically create their own success, while others hope success will find them.

5. They are fearful like everyone else, but they are not controlled or limited by fear.

6. They ask the right questions - the ones which put them in a productive, creative, positive mindset and emotional state.

7. They rarely complain (waste of energy). All complaining does is put the complainer in a negative and unproductive state.

8. They don’t blame (what’s the point?). They take complete responsibility for their actions and outcomes (or lack thereof).

9. While they are not necessarily more talented than the majority, they always find a way to maximise their potential. They get more out of themselves. They use what they have more effectively.

10. They are busy, productive and proactive. While most are laying on the couch, planning, over-thinking, sitting on their hands and generally going around in circles, they are out there getting the job done.

11. They align themselves with like-minded people. They understand the importance of being part of a team. They create win-win relationships.

12. They are ambitious; they want amazing - and why shouldn’t they? They consciously choose to live their best life rather than spending it on auto-pilot.

13. They have clarity and certainty about what they want (and don’t want) for their life. They actually visualise and plan their best reality while others are merely spectators of life.

14. They innovate rather than imitate.

15. They don’t procrastinate and they don’t spend their life waiting for the ‘right time’.

16. They are life-long learners. They constantly work at educating themselves, either formally (academically), informally (watching, listening, asking, reading, student of life) or experientially (doing, trying)… or all three.

17. They are glass half full people - while still being practical and down-to-earth. They have an ability to find the good.

18. They consistently do what they need to do, irrespective of how they are feeling on a given day. They don’t spend their life stopping and starting.

19. They take calculated risks - financial, emotional, professional, psychological.

20. They deal with problems and challenges quickly and effectively, they don’t put their head in the sand. They face their challenges and use them to improve themselves.

21. They don’t believe in, or wait for fate, destiny, chance or luck to determine or shape their future. They believe in, and are committed to actively and consciously creating their own best life.

22. While many people are reactive, they are proactive. They take action before they have to.

23. They are more effective than most at managing their emotions. They feel like we all do but they are not slaves to their emotions.

24. They are good communicators and they consciously work at it.

25. They have a plan for their life and they work methodically at turning that plan into a reality. Their life is not a clumsy series of unplanned events and outcomes.

26. Their desire to be exceptional means that they typically do things that most won’t. They become exceptional by choice. We’re all faced with live-shaping decisions almost daily. Successful people make the decisions that most won’t and don’t.

27. While many people are pleasure junkies and avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, successful people understand the value and benefits of working through the tough stuff that most would avoid.

28. They have identified their core values (what is important to them) and they do their best to live a life which is reflective of those values.

29. They have balance. While they may be financially successful, they know that the terms money and success are not interchangeable. They understand that people who are successful on a financial level only, are not successful at all. Unfortunately we live in a society which teaches that money equals success. Like many other things, money is a tool. It’s certainly not a bad thing but ultimately, it’s just another resource. Unfortunately, too many people worship it.

30. They understand the importance of discipline and self-control. They are strong. They are happy to take the road less travelled.

31. They are secure. They do not derive their sense of worth of self from what they own, who they know, where they live or what they look like.

32. They are generous and kind. They take pleasure in helping others achieve.

33. They are humble and they are happy to admit mistakes and to apologise. They are confident in their ability, but not arrogant. They are happy to learn from others. They are happy to make others look good rather than seek their own personal glory.

34. They are adaptable and embrace change, while the majority are creatures of comfort and habit. They are comfortable with, and embrace, the new and the unfamiliar.

35. They keep themselves in shape physically, not to be mistaken with training for the Olympics or being obsessed with their body. They understand the importance of being physically well. They are not all about looks, they are more concerned with function and health. Their body is not who they are, it’s where they live.

36. They have a big engine. They work hard and are not lazy.

37. They are resilient. When most would throw in the towel, they’re just warming up.

38. They are open to, and more likely to act upon, feedback.

39. They don’t hang out with toxic people.

40. They don’t invest time or emotional energy into things which they have no control of.

41. They are happy to swim against the tide, to do what most won’t. They are not people pleasers and they don’t need constant approval.

42. They are more comfortable with their own company than most.

43. They set higher standards for themselves (a choice we can all make), which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.

44. They don’t rationalise failure. While many are talking about their age, their sore back, their lack of time, their poor genetics, their ‘bad luck’, their nasty boss and their lack of opportunities (all good reasons to fail), they are finding a way to succeed despite all their challenges.

45. They have an off switch. They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life and to have fun.

46. Their career is not their identity, it’s their job. It’s not who they are, it’s what they do.

47. They are more interested in effective than they are in easy. While the majority look for the quickest, easiest way (the shortcut), they look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.

48. They finish what they start. While so many spend their life starting things that they never finish, successful people get the job done - even when the excitement and the novelty have worn off. Even when it ain’t fun.

49. They are multi-dimensional, amazing, wonderful complex creatures (as we all are). They realise that not only are they physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. They consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.

50. They practice what they preach. They don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.

Millionaire mind

2009-05-03T02:18:00.000-07:00

#1 Rich people beleive "I create my life." Poor people beleive "Life happens to me."
Money is extremely important in the areas in which it works, and extremely unimportant in the areas in which it doesnt.
When you are complaining, you become a living, breathing "crap magnet."
There is no such thing as a really rich victim!

#2 Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to not lose.
If your goal is to be comfortable, chances are you'll never get rich. But if your goal is to be rich, chances are you'll end up mighty comfortable.

#3 Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.
The number one reason most people dont get what they want is that they dont know what they want.
If you are not fully, totally, and truly committed to creating wealth, chances are you wont.
---> I want to be rich < I choose to be rich < I commit to be rich
---> Getting rich takes focus, beleif, courage, knowledge, expertise, 100% effort, a never-give-up attitude, rich mind-set.

#4 Rich people think big. Poor people think small.
The Law of Income: You will be paid in direct proportion to the value you deliver according to the market place.
---> Too many of us are not living up to our full potential, in terms of both our own lives and our contributions to others.

#5 Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.

#6 Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people.
"Bless that which you want." Huna philosophy

#7 Rich people associate with positive successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

#8 Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.
Leaders earn a heck of a lot more money than followers.

#9 Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.
The secret of success is not to try to avoid or get rid of or shrink from your problems;
the secret is to grow yourself so that you are bigger than any problem.
If you have a big problem in your life, all that means is that you are being a small person!

#10 Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.
If you say you're worthy, you are. If you say you're not worthy, you're not. Either way you will live into your story.
"If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of a human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall"
For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver.
Money will only make you more of what you already are.
How you do anything is how you do everything.

#11 Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.
There is nothing wrong with getting a steady paychek, unless it interferes with your ability to earn what you're worth. There's the rub. It usually does.
Never have a ceiling on your income.

#12 Rich people think "both." Poor people thin "either/or."
Rich people beleive "You can have your cake and eat it too." Middle class people beleive "Cake is too rich, so I'll only have a little piece."
Poor people don't beleive they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have "nothing."

#13 Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.
The true measure of wealth is net worth, not working income.
Where attention goes, energy flows and result show.

#14 Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.
Untill you show you can handle what you've got, you wont get any more!
The habit of managing your money is more important than the amount.
Either you control the money, or it will control you.

#15 Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money.
Rich people see every dollar as a "seed" that can be planted to earn a hundred more dollars, which can then be replanted to earn a thousand more dollars.

#16 Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.
Action is the "bridge" between the inner world and the outer world.
A true warrior can "tame the cobra of fear.
It is not necessary to try to get rid of fear in order to succeed.
If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy.
The only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable.
Practice acting inspite of fear, practice acting inspite of inconvenience, practice acting inspite of discomfort, practice acting even when you are not in mood.
Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.

#17 Rich people constantly lean and grow. Poor people think they already know.
You can be right or you can be rich, but you cant be both.
Every master was once a disaster.
To get paid the best, you must be the best.

Why some people almost always are successful

2009-05-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

Like everyone else I´ve spent some time thinking about why some people are so successful in life. And what factors in success that are under more personal control than others.

Successful people might be intelligent. Or have had a socially well connected upbringings. Or be naturally energetic and open and positive.

But a lot of the factors that make some people more successful at almost anything in life are very much under their control. And much can be improved in anyone’s life by learning from the people that have gone before us.

Here are some of the thoughts on success that I´ve come up with from reading/watching documentaries throughout the years about people such as Michael Jordan, Thomas Edison, Eleanor Roosevelt and Henry Ford. The following factors of success are just a few and I´m quite sure there are a lot more.

They make decisions and take action
Right or wrong action, they take it. Either way it’s always better than making no decisions and taking no action at all. As Franklin Roosevelt said:

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”

They do things even when they don´t feel like it
I think this is a pretty huge factor. A lot of us back down when we don´t want to do something, even though it may eventually bring us to a wonderful experience or goal. Successful people may not always like doing some of the things they have to do. But they do them anyway. And in the longer run that makes all the difference.

They do the most productive thing right now
Instead of trapping themselves in doing productive but not so important tasks or projects they realise what’s most important and do that. And after they´re done with that they do what´s most important again. Instead of just doing a lot of things, they think and plan before they act and try to focus as much as possible of their thoughts and actions on those few very important things.

They do one thing at a time
Many of them don´t seem to multi-task. Some reasons for avoiding that may be that it creates internal confusion, wastes time and spreads the multi-tasker too thinly. Instead, they do one thing and focus on that until it is done. Then they do the next thing until it is done. Focusing 100% on one task at a time will get it done quicker and better.

They have a positive attitude
A negative attitude can be very damaging and limiting to one´s life. A positive one can open new doors every day. It can open your mind to new ideas and input and create or sustain great relationships. It helps you through the hard times as a successful person often sees an opportunity within what others would merely see as a problem.

Have a look at Take The Postivity Challenge for more thoughts and practical tips for creating a more positive attitude.

They have redefined failure
While a lot of people see failure as a way to rationalizing the feeling of wanting to giving up or as a sign that it´s actually time to do something else successful people tend to see it more as useful feedback. They may not like to fail, but they don´t fear it – or at least they have little fear of it - and they know that if they fail they´ve been there before and they can start over again and succeed. This is of course a very useful belief and keeps successful people going while the rest have already given up.

They don´t let fear hold them back
They overcome fear and slay that dragon whenever they face it. Or they may have defined or redefined reality so that fear is substantially decreased or even gone in some areas of their life.

Doing this enables you to take action on your thoughts. This pulls down the barriers in the mind and create new roads and opens up to whole new possibilities. Have a look at 5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear for more on both slaying your dragons and redefining your reality to contain less fear.

They have found a purpose in life
They are internally driven rather than externally driven. They do what they have a burning desire to do rather than conforming to what others think they should do. Even if what the others think may be positive and successful stuff.

The Michael Jordans, the Edisons and the Stephen Kings have figured out what they want to do in life and are doing it (or did it).

The purpose, I think, is largely why they can keep on going and be motivated while others may tire or just go and do something else that they find more purposeful. The successes love their purpose and when they aligned with it then it seems to push them forward with enthusiasm and energy through life.

They don´t get distracted
When others get too caught up in everyday life to do what they really want to do the successes don´t. They can really focus on actually doing what´s important and what needs to be done. Again, this seems to go back to having a purpose and more clear sense of direction in life.

They value their time highly and plan it out well
A lot of people don´t value their time that much. Successful people have a purpose in life and therefore they do. They have so much they want and an inner urge to do it and therefore need to plan well to use their days effectively.

They´ve got awesome communication-skills
So very much of what we do in life has to do with other people. So it seems quite obvious that to be successful you´ll probably have to have good or great communication-skills (or hire someone that has such skills).

People skills is fortunately something anyone can improve and develop. Have a look at Do You Do these 10 Mistakes in a Conversation and How to Make a Great First Impression for some useful tips.

They have an open mind and are willing to learn
Successful people take the time to study and learn – and often seem to really like doing it - what is necessary to improve their skills. They are open to thoughts, suggestions, solutions, new information and change rather than thinking they already know everything, that there is not much more to learn and that everything should be as it has always been.

What to focus on?
Now, what factors are the most important ones, where should one focus the energy? I am currently focusing on improving my ability to take action, doing what I may not feel like doing and doing the most productive thing right now. To me it seems like these three factors are very important and since they are pretty interconnected they are easy to combine.

I think what you should focus on varies a lot. And it’s up to everyone to figure that out for themselves. But if you´re anything like me you probably already know what areas you need to work on.

Test3

2009-05-02T19:28:00.001-07:00

Here is the analysis:

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.

Test2

2009-05-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Test

2009-05-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Happy Khmer New Year

2009-04-13T05:41:00.001-07:00

May this new year make you fresh and happy!!!

泣きながら生きて (No life without tear)

2009-03-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

You can cry with this video. So touching ....

Disney land

2009-02-21T05:27:00.001-08:00

The famous Disney. Well known because you have to wait for hours to see the attractions. Famous with the number of crowd. I understood nothing because I'm too old to go there, and also animation illiterate :(

Enoshima excursion

2009-02-21T05:12:00.001-08:00

The present for the clear shining day. Going to Enoshima, seaside town. Can go to aquarium, island, bowling, and more.... Recommend ***

PS: when I was seeing those fishes, I was thinking of Sushi :) As I was hungry, I was imagining that rice was together with those fishes. Go sushi. Recommend ****

Valentine day

2009-02-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

Today is Feb. 14 the special valentine day :) The day of love, the vitamine to keep people live. Want to say thanks for all people loving me and that I love you.

Do You Really Need Seven Hours of Sleep?

2008-02-21T23:53:00.000-08:00

By Temma Ehrenfeld | Newsweek Web Exclusive http://www.newsweek.com/id/113270?g=1

Yep, you do. Although people do vary in how much sleep they need, the differences are slight, and the vast majority of us (including seniors) need seven to eight hours. Most people who regularly get less than seven hours of rest are simply unaware of the damage that fatigue and sleepiness is doing to their bodies. Chronic "short-sleepers," as scientists call them, have forgotten what it feels like to be well-rested, says Robert Rosenberg, medical director of the Sleep Disorders Center of Prescott Valley, in Arizona.

The evidence indicates that a person who regularly sleeps less than seven hours a night functions as badly as someone who hasn't slept for one to three days, according to a research review published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine last year. Furthermore, the largest current longitudinal studies (one involving 21,268 people and another 10,308) showed that sleep-deprivation increased mortality: the chance of dying younger than people of the same age, gender and health-risk factors. In the larger study researchers at the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health assessed the sleep habits of the group in 1975 and 1981 and then checked to see who was still alive on Dec. 31, 2003. After comparing subjects' survival rates to the average for people of the same age (and adjusting for other known death risks, like smoking), the researchers concluded that lack of sleep increased mortality in the study participants by 26 percent for men and 21 percent for women. The cause of death might be accidents, or diseases exacerbated by sleep-deprivation. Other current research indicates that lack of sleep affects the body's hormones, immune system and metabolism; hence, it can be a risk factor for obesity, diabetes and heart disease.

To evaluate the quality of your own sleep—and whether you're getting enough—try these tools offered by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine

Master

2008-02-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

Just, finished the presentation today.
Fuuuuuuuu

Eh Phuthong

2008-02-13T08:16:00.000-08:00

I really want to see Eh Phuthong fighting in K1

The Art of the Apology

2008-02-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

by Holly Weeks http://www.portfolio.com/resources/insight-center/

Done right, an apology can enhance both reputations and relationships. Done wrong, an apology can compound the original mistake, sometimes to disastrous consequences.

Most of us were taught that offering an apology, any apology, when we make a mistake will take care of most offenses. But offering the right apology, particularly in the corporate world, is not as simple as saying, “I’m sorry.”

Done right, an apology can enhance both reputations and relationships. Done wrong, an apology can compound the original mistake, sometimes to disastrous consequences.

Consider, for instance, a senior member of an executive team who became angry when a junior vice president opposed him in a meeting and refused to change her position. He lashed out at her in front of the group, sarcastically questioning her intelligence and her commitment to the company in difficult times. When other members of the team told him he should apologize, he balked, thereby making matters worse. “I’m sorry she’s upset, but I didn’t do anything wrong—she’s got to learn to take the heat,” he declared.

When the offender is embarrassed and worried about losing face, this kind of sidestepping can take place. But, in fact, offering an apology is not a sign of weakness, nor does it amount to backing down. On the contrary, offering an apology can be a potent reputation enhancer.

Apologies matter for two reasons. First, they mend relationships. When an offense has torn the fabric of a relationship, an apology is a stage in its repair. Second, apologies mend the transgressor’s reputation. Following an offense, some people—not just the offended but all who know about the affront—may have concerns and doubts about the transgressor and even question his character. An effective apology can reassure people that the transgression is understood and not likely to be repeated.

What gets in the way
Too often companies, as well as individuals, miss the opportunity to reap the good that an apology can provide. In early 2002, NSTAR, a New England public utility, admitted it had improperly moved nearly 24,000 of its electric customers to the “default” service category—a much more expensive service option—without those customers’ knowledge. NSTAR apologized “for any inconvenience.”

But were NSTAR customers, and the public, really concerned about inconvenience? Of course they weren’t. When the story became news, customers and the public saw double-speak and deceit, and NSTAR’s credibility fell. The misdirected apology the company offered only sent the public’s opinion lower.

Mending fences is not only the right thing to do on a personal level, it also makes good business sense. So why do so many people and institutions fail at it?

To start with, most people find being in the wrong to be embarrassing. And when they are embarrassed, they may go into denial and try to minimize the offense, as NSTAR did. In other cases, the offender may try to blame the victim, as the senior executive did with the junior vice president.

Even if an apology is offered, it may be unrecognizable as such because the embarrassment or anger of the person giving the apology distorts it. This can be a disastrous mistake; credibility, once lost, is very hard to gain back.

Three sides to an apology
So how do you build a good apology? Apologies involve three elements: Acknowledgment of a fault or an offense, regret for it, and responsibility for the offense. You can put them all together, but a sincere, effective apology need not necessarily express all three; whether it should depends on the circumstances.

Because we don’t separate out acknowledgment, regret, and responsibility, we are often at sea, finding it unnecessarily painful to apologize when it would actually be reasonably easy to do so. Instead of getting caught up in blame, we can acknowledge another’s anger or dismay, or regret an offense, even when we don’t feel responsible for a wrong.

Do’s and don’ts

1 Find words that are clear and accurate—not provocative. A good apology should make the person wronged think, “Yes, she understands.” Often what the offended person wants is accountability and vigilance; he wants to know that it won’t happen again.

2 Don’t apologize for the wrong thing. People and institutions tend to apologize for what they find forgivable, as in the NSTAR example. If there is no clear relationship between what the offender is apologizing for and what the offended experienced as the original wrong, the apology actually exacerbates the problem. At best, the offender will seem blind to the problem; at worst, he will be perceived as intentionally distorting it.

That gives the offended two problems: The original offense, and the sense that a similar offense is likely to occur. The offended party thinks, “How can I accept this apology? It makes me appear to be complicit in allowing the problem to happen again.”

3 Consider the angle of approach. Decide whether it will be easier for you to apologize position to position or person to person. If you are angry with the person you’ve got to apologize to, it may be easier to frame the apology in terms of your respective jobs or ranks.

For example, while the senior executive remains angry at the junior vice president, he can’t offer a sincere personal apology. But he could apologize to her as a senior administrator to a more junior colleague, from his position to hers. Example: “We both work for a good company, and, as your colleague, I should try harder to see past our individual differences. I’m sorry I spoke harshly.”

Such an apology is likely to resonate favorably with both parties, even when anger between them remains.

In other circumstances, a person-to-person apology is easier to offer. For someone who equates an apology with loss of stature, for instance, the person-to-person apology can appear to be a magnanimous act that does not diminish her. Example: “I can’t agree with the stance you are taking, but I like you and want us to work well together. I’m sorry I spoke harshly.”

Choose the approach that is easier for you to do well. That will save you from making an apology that is so grudging that it fails.

4 Don’t think in terms of an “expression of regret.” Instead, your goal should be actually communicating your regret, that is, getting it across to the other person. Expression is one-sided—as though one were getting an apology off one’s chest. Communication, however, occurs between people, and an apology needs to work well for the other person to be effective. Take the focus off yourself, and keep it on your counterpart and the three elements of an apology—acknowledgment, regret, and responsibility. That protects you from sounding defensive, and your apology will be better received.

5 “I want to apologize” is not an apology. It’s no more an apology than “I want to lose weight” is a loss of weight. Do the work. Deliver a clear, direct apology; don’t hide behind vagueness, circumlocution, or clichés.

You may not be able to control whether your apology is accepted, but you can control its quality. So make every effort to control what you can. This will increase your chances of feeling good about what you have done with your apology—instead of feeling bad about having to do it.

Rich Dad 1

2008-02-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

Financial intelligence 1

2008-02-05T22:25:00.000-08:00

Last Job

2008-01-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

Very stressed recenly with the thesis. Eating is a big pleasure because it help release some stress. But look at my stomach !!! ヤバイっす.

Will have 1 more month to go. がんばらなくっちゃ　ちゃ　ちゃ.

Just can't beleive, it takes me about 2 decades to finish the study. (From primary school). Sadly, I got nothing ...

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Illusion 1

2008-01-14T20:51:00.000-08:00

Note: The circles are motionless

Rotating snakes

http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/index-e.html

Bokator 3

2007-12-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

Are "Should" and "Ought" Blocking Your Path to Love?

2007-11-25T22:16:00.001-08:00

How to overcome three intentional roadblocks to love
By Kathryn Lord
Special to Yahoo! Personals
Updated: Nov 25, 2007

Have you heard yourself saying things like "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" or "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me"? Or how about "We should have... (fill in the blank: the same sense of humor, a similar background, or compatible taste in furniture)"?
I find that lots of singles have rules that guide their love life. Some rules make good sense (like only dating people who are really single and available, economically stable, and live within the law). But many rules are unrealistic, harsh, or based on romantic myths. Then these singles end up comparing their dates with their guidelines, sensible or not, and making life decisions that have enormous consequences.
I am a romance coach, but I have also been a psychotherapist for over 30 years. I learned long ago to listen carefully to the language my clients use when they talk about themselves and their lives. In particular, I'd watch for the words "should" and "ought."
What's wrong with 'should' and 'ought'
While exceedingly and commonly used, "should" and "ought" could easily be eliminated from our vocabulary. At the very least, we would all feel a lot better. Should and ought are guilt-producing words: "I should spend more time with my mother," "I really ought to lose some weight." The sayer doesn't really intend to do what he is shoulding or oughting. If so, he'd say, "I will spend more time with Mom," or "I'm going to start dieting today."
Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back
Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back: You are punishing yourself with your "I should" or "I ought" statements. Your guilt is eased with your punishment, making it possible to go on with your life, while never following through with what you said you should or ought to do.
In the case of love, shoulds and oughts give us a way out when we need it, just like being picky. Looking for love is loaded with anxiety: "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I find out I don't really love her?" "What if he finds out about (you fill in the blank)?" When your anxiety screams for relief, pulling out a good old should or ought can provide your escape hatch.
Top 'shoulds' and 'oughts': Road blocks to love
Let's look at some common shoulds and oughts more closely, so that we can see the errors in thinking:

1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do.
to fall in love is on a continuum:Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do. Some people fall in and out of love
very easily, some people never do. Most of us are somewhere in between. Those people who never "fall in love" are still quite capable of loving and forming relationships. If you find yourself waiting for the "in love" sensation which never comes, the "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" could keep you permanently single.

2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Really? How? Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need? This "should" may be connected to your "falling in love" ability: If you are able to "fall in love," that biochemical process (it's like being drunk or high) helps surge you forward into a permanent relationship and over any questions or doubts.

3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." Why? One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you?
partner already knows.Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you? Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like
you? You may be pretty terrific, but how boring would it be to be married to your carbon copy!
So pay attention to your inner thoughts about love and your dates. If "should" or "ought" crop up in your thinking, take note and challenge yourself. You may have set up a condition that is road-blocking your search for love.

What is Procrastination?

2007-11-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

People often wonder, what is procrastination? There are many degrees to the condition so that the question of what is procrastination can become a confusing one.

The best way to determine what is procrastination is to look at the effects of a behavior. The effects of procrastination and the root causes tend to be similar form person to person, such that they become a diagnostic guide to determining what is procrastination.

You can look at the following list of concepts and symptoms to determine if you are dealing with a case of procrastination and to evaluate how severe the situation is.

- Putting off a project until the last moment is procrastination. Procrastinating dramatically cuts down on the preparation time and the perfection time for a project.

Often, people who procrastinate feel they are flying by the proverbial seat of their pants, and their priority is getting something down on paper but not necessarily the best something they can produce. Procrastination is the opposite of proactive.

Proactive people start a project ahead of time to complete it ahead of time, allowing themselves enough space to complete their tasks at a pace that is comfortable. The pace of procrastination goes from zero to sixty the night before deadline, and this switch can be very stressful.

- Procrastination results from feelings of stress and anxiety. People who are anxious or overwhelmed may procrastinate due to fear of failure or a paralysis at the scope of the task at hand.

Sadly, the stress and anxiety that cause procrastination result in even more stress and anxiety. Procrastination is a self-perpetuating art until a person makes a commitment to be more disciplined.

- Procrastination does not always equate to poor performance. There are many people who have done amazing things, and they did them at the very last minute. You cannot look at a poor project and assume procrastination is the cause of the trouble.

Likewise, a fabulous project does not always mean hours of preparation and hard work begun weeks in advance in anticipation of the deadline. Quality is not always indicative of the presence of procrastination.

- Procrastination is a habit, and like any habit can be replaced by one that is more beneficial to you and your circumstances. You cannot quit being procrastination without replacing the procrastination with new habits that help you complete your tasks in a more timely and relaxed manner.

Procrastination is an elusive concept sometimes, because people can work very hard and be very successful at hiding their tendencies to procrastinate.

Taking on more than you can handle, failing to organize and a lot your time effectively, and taking too little time to relax when it is appropriate can all result in procrastination like feelings that will wreak havoc on your work schedule and your peace of mind.

Decide today to combat procrastination in your own life, and begin to take the small and easy steps to control this habit. Once you have answered what is procrastination in your life, determine ways you can address these situations to decrease your stress level and increase your amount of free time.

MOTIVATION FOR SUCCESS

2007-11-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

Motivation is a significant factor for success in sports. Motivation and determination constitute a critical factor in how far an athlete will develop.With this characteristic added to an athlete's make-up, an athlete strives relentlessly toward his or her potential. Intense drive and determination may be the most distinguishing characteristic of young athletes who will rise to the top.

MOTIVATION RESULTS IN PERSISTENCE
Athletes want to win, to achieve, to excel. However, individuals with self-motivation and drive go after their goals with an unwavering intention that separates them from others. Their performance in training and in competition shows steel will determination and unflagging persistence.The level and strength of motivation impact directly on how well an athlete will persevere through rigorous training schedules, setbacks, possibly injuries and disappointments. With self-motivation, the athlete perseveres and remains unwavering in a focus on goals.

POSITIVE ENERGY FUELS MOTIVATION
Positive energy enhances motivation. Positive energy refers to being energized from positive sources such as team spirit, joy and love for the sport, a feeling of freedom, exhilaration. This skill of fueling performance from positive sources is associated with peak performance. By connecting to these positive energy sources, you can increase your motivation.With these types of energy sources, individuals can maintain and direct energy toward a goal over a long period of time. With positive energy fueling athletic performance, the body can maintain a state of calm and can be without unnecessary tension. Positive energy sources allow for sustained high level energy in performances over time and seemingly indefatigable reserves of energy for one's sport.

BELIEFS THAT SUPPORT MOTIVATION
Top achievers typically have a high level of self-confidence. They know what they want out of life. They know how to use their strengths to reach their goals. They tend to take more risk, but they are not afraid of failure.Overall, there is something about the nature of the beliefs that peak performers have that build confidence and spurs motivation. Sally Edwards, a world class triathlete, discussed the "incurable optimism" of top performers.High achievers hold beliefs that further and support their goals. They adopt beliefs which are consistent with their achieving success and high-level performance.

SELF-TALK AFFECTS MOTIVATION AND CONFIDENCE
Top performers mentally condition themselves with positive self-talk. Be sure that your self-talk supports your succeeding. By making adjustments in your self-talk, you can invigorate feelings of confidence and motivation.

One of the things that we know about top performers is that they use only two types of statements in their self-talk: encouraging statements and instructional statements. By following simple guidelines, you can alter your self-talk to follow in the mental tracks of top performers.

CONFIDENCE BUILDING TO INCREASE MOTIVATION
Motivation and confidence work hand in hand. If motivation starts to decline, confidence building techniques can help to bolster feelings of drive and motivation.

For more information about increasing your motivation by using positive energy sources, appropriate self-talk, and confidence building techniques, see Drive and Determination: Developing Your Inner Motivation in the books section. Drive and Determination presents a systematic program for developing heightened motivation.

Self Motivation Building The Techniques

2007-11-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Fear and reward are two most commonly used methods to build motivation in someone. But, these methods are temporary. The only lasting thing is self motivation. Motivation actually is the enthusiasm of doing something. It refers to inner feeling, strong desires, and expectation about something. You may sometimes loose the necessary level of the inner drive to get something done. Self motivation is what you need to boost the level of your inner drive to achieve your goals.

Self motivation is a form of self encouragement. You will say to yourself that you have the capacity to do better and eventually get whatever you want in your life. This inner enthusiasm will push you forward until you achieve your set goals. You may not even be aware of any reward in the beginning but you keep working on it. You work on it because your inner strength says that you can attain your goals. This is your will power - the driving force behind your self motivation. Self motivation is a combination of will power, goals and ability to continue attaining the highest level of your success.

You need self motivation to accomplish tasks you have now. Along the way, you may be facing with situations that are discouraging and can bring down your motivational level. You need to keep yourself really focused on your objectives to maintain the level of your self motivation. Here are techniques you can adopt to start acquiring higher motivational level and achieve greater success.

Writing Your Plan
Success does not come easy without any proper plan. Failing to plan is actually planning to fail. Therefore, you must give a greater emphasis on having well prepared plan to achieve your goals. You simply need to have your plan written on a piece of paper. Having your plan clearly written gives you more psychological inner drive to work toward achieving your goals. You create more enthusiasm and can see more clearly how you want to achieve your goals. Thus, your commitments will be much stronger.

When writing down your goals, state very specific terms. For example, if you want to accumulate certain amount of money, state exactly how much you want. You must also set a specific date to fulfill your goals and specific rewards for achieving your goals. Writing is not enough if you do not follow up with some reading. You have to make a point to read your written plan at least twice a day. Once in the morning before you start your day; and one at night just before you go to bed. This simple routine will keep you stay motivated.

Be realistic, things happen in life. Unforeseen circumstances may sometimes require you to make adjustments in your plan. Go ahead and make the necessary adjustments. But, try to maintain realistic limits. Do not make it too easy or too hard for you to achieve. Set it just right to maintain your motivation level.

Visualizing Your Goals
You need to simply make your goals as visual as possible to maintain your motivation at the highest level possible. If your goal is to own an apartment, find pictures of your desired apartment keep them in front of your eyes. Visualizing your goals creates a positive impact on your mind and keeps your motivation surging. When you feel very down, visuals will help you provide the necessary boost to surge your motivation level.

Like the written plan, you have to make a point to see the visuals at least twice a day. The images you see of yourself achieving the goals you desire will instill strong impact in your mind, which will control your actions to maintain your level of motivation.

Controlling Your Feeling
This one is not quite straight forward action. It has to do with your feeling in your mind. You need to control what you feel. Your feeling will reflect your mental attitude and moods. If you feel upset and depressed, you will feel as if everything crashes on you. This feeling reflects on your physical self. You will lose concentration and everything you do will be full of mistakes. You have to learn to start controlling your feeling.

The simplest way will be to start your day with a smile. No doubt this can be fake at times due to things that happen around you, but you have got to master this simple task to ensure that things around you will be pleasant and enjoyable for the rest of the day. You can feel the enthusiasm and energy level soaring. You will be able to stay motivated and spread positive energy around you.

Your mental and physical attitudes work closely. Hence, to stay motivated, learn to develop cheerful and confident characters by simply walking with your face up and smile on it. You will realize that your confidence and self motivation developing. It is probably kind of hard to maintain the action, but with time, once it naturally becomes your way of life, you are able to motivate yourself even during difficult times.

Giving Your Effort A Reward
You need to give yourself a reward for what you have achieved. This one simply acts as an appreciation to yourself in achieving your goals. You have to credit yourself for what you have gone through, your determination and your hard work in ensuring your success.

Earlier I said reward is a temporary method to motivate someone. In this case, a reward is not what keeps you motivated. It is just an element to add flavor to your self motivation exercise. You may want to think of a simple reward that sounds reasonable with what you have achieved. Do not get over excited about this. Meaning, the reward has to be at par with your level of achievement. Take this positively to further enhance your level of self motivation.

About the Author
Fadzil Dolmani
fadzil@wisdomgateway.com

Self Motivation Techniques

2007-11-08T06:07:00.000-08:00

quoted:

1. Find a true interest in what you are doing. If you have no interest at all, it might mean you need to do something else. On the other hand, if it's just a task you dislike, relate it clearly in your mind to the greater goal. I don't particularly like to drive, but I don't have a motivation problem when I am driving to the mountains for a vacation.

2. Create energy. You need some energy for self motivation. Caffeine may help for a while, if it doesn't create other problems for you. You can also exercise and sleep well. Watch out for sugary foods - the "sugar blues" will kill your motivation. When you find energy boosters that work for you, make a list and keep it handy for future use.

3. Talk your way to motivation. This is one of my favorite ways to create energy and motivation. By the time I tell my wife about the article I'm going to write, I'm out of my slump and back at the keyboard. If the task itself is less inspiring, talk about the larger goals it will help you achieve.

4. Stimulate desire. Imagining their potential future motivates many to sign up for get-rich-quick plans. Good salesmen can put you in your imagined dream home in minutes, and you'll feel motivated to do anything to make it real. Why not learn to be your own salesman?

5. Stimulate pain. An effective Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique is to link pain with not acting. This

is what happens when you finally stop hitting that snooze button on the alarm because you think you
might
lose your job. Imagine any bad consequences that may occur if you don't do what you need to do.

6. Start with any small step. I have found that if I commit to raking up one bag of leaves, I soon want to finish the yard work. Training yourself to take any small step towards your goals is a great self motivation technique. Breaking larger goals down into small steps makes this even easier.

These motivation techniques really work, but don't ask me how to get motivated to use them. Anyhow, you already were motivated enough to read this far, so you'll be fine. Oh, and humor is technique number seven. Laughing can overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed that sucks away self motivation.

Fish Sauce

2007-10-17T21:18:00.001-07:00

Southeast Asian fish sauce is often made from anchovies, salt and water, and is often used in moderation because it is intensely flavoured. Anchovies and salt are arranged in wooden boxes to ferment and are slowly pressed, yielding the salty, fishy liquid. The variety from Vietnam is generally called nước mắm- famous with some traditional brand names: nước mắm Phú Quốc (Phu Quoc), nước mắm Phan Thiết (Phan Thiet), and similar condiments from Thailand and Myanmar are called nam pla (น้ำปลา) and ngan byar yay respectively. In Lao/Isan it is called nam pa, but a chunkier, more aromatic version known as padaek is also used.
In Cambodia, it is known as teuk trei (ទឹកត្រី) and range from a variety of sauces using fish sauce as a base.
The Indonesian semisolid fish paste trasi, the Cambodian prahok and the Malay fermented krill brick belacan are other popular variations of the same theme. The similar Filipino version common to Indo-China is called patis. It is the by-product of a popular crude fish sauce, bagoong.

Naitei siki

2007-10-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

It is just a ceremony to say that I am to be employed from April 2008. And this also mean that my student life remins 6 months. It's abit complicated because I dont know what is working life is, so eager to know, but really afraid of being busy and toughness of the work life. What they repeatedly advices was:

1) Enjoy the rest of student life
2) Acheive something
3) Be prepared for working life
4) Make a strong connection with people especially pp of the same generation

Bokator2

2007-09-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

Shame of Thailand. They dont accept the Khmer, but they hungrily grab the khmer heritages.

quoted from: http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?s=4281496cba5a40c6ea30fca87a6c4a56&t=525834

Bokator Khmer kickboxing from cambodia is the predecessor of Muay Thai and Muay Boran (ancient muay thai style ). Pradal Serey is modern day Bokator in cambodia. Bokator is an ancient martial art that has been around 800 to 1000 years before thailand was even a country. (note: thailand became thailand around 1400 ad ). Cambodia, or at least the empire has been around since 200 ad. The Thai's borrowed Cambodian language, clothes, music, and why wouldnt they borrow the martial art? This already known as a fact that they borrowed this from the cambodians ( the cambodians were influenced by India). Dont believe? type it in yahoo or google and read about it.

type "bokator" or "pradal serey" and read about it. All these Thai fighters from Thailand such as Baukaw (k-1 muay thai champion) and Tony Jaa( the thai movie star) are from Surin, Thailand. Surin, Thailand has a MAJORITY of ethnic cambodians living there. 70 percent of them still speak khmer even tho the Thai's took over this part of cambodia for over 300 years. Before that, the khmers ruled central and northern and southern Thailand, southern vietnam and souther Laos for over a 1000 years. Even in the province of Korat.

Their nationality is Thai but their ethnicity is Cambodian. Cambodians are darker because they live near the equator for generations and generations while Thais are light skinned because they came from China. Many supposed Thai fighters came from this area. If you look at Tony Jaa and Baukaw, they look cambodian, not thai, due to their darker skin when Thai's are usually lighter being migrated from southern China. If you want hard evidence, look at the pictures on the temple ruins in cambodia. The pictures show Elephants going into battle and men with swords and others with their knees up in the fighting stance. Bokator was used in hand to hand combat when weapons were not available. i juss visited cambodia a month ago and seen it for myself. Surin, is world famous for their Elephant celebration every year, which is also depicted in the movie "Ong Bak".

The story of Ong Bak almost tells the story on the ancient Cambodian temples. He fought all his enemies because of an elephant! Khmer temples are scattered all over Thailand. The Surin province also has Cambodian temple ruins taken over by the Thai's. Khmer architecture ruins in Thailand is well documented and cannot be argued. It is also documented that the Khmer empire was the first empire of southeast asia. Before Muay Thai, there was no such thing as Muay Siam ( Siam being the name of Thailand before it was Thailand.)

The reason why Muay Thai is more famous than all others of southeast asia is because the Thai's were not involved in any modern day war. how many of you even heard of cambodia until recently? well there are exceptions to those of you who are smart allecks. my point being is that the Thai's has had more success due to stability of their country allowing for successful advertisement of their sport. Im just tired of them getting all of the fame even though many of their successful fighters are of cambodian decent and the art of Muay Thai itself is the child of cambodian martial arts. Many of their fighters come from a region documented as part of the once great khmer empire of the 8th-14 century (there were previous khmer empires before this but this is the pinnacle of khmer culture.)

They are simply Khmers living in Thailand because the borders of the country was changed, the people did not change or moved. Thats like black people in America claiming they are american when its clear they are of African decent and bloodline. The Thai's have been taught in their households to look down upon their khmer ancestry because of the unsuccessful position of cambodia in recent times. If anyone is curious about this debate, dont believe me, look up the information yourself and be informed. I can name more reasons to support this but i juss simply dont have the patience to do it. if i did, id write a book and become famous. but i wont so its ur job to become wiser about the world.

Things to look at:
1. Bokator
2. Pradal Serey
3. Muay Boran
4. Surin, Thailand
5. Cambodian bas-relief
* look at the similarities of Muay Boran and Pradal Serey
* Wikipedia gives easy to understand information
* look at similarities of importance of elephants both in Surin, Thailand and importance of Elephants in bas-relief on cambodian architecture.
* look at thai peoples faces and how they differ from cambodians.
*notice the history of thailand and how cambodian culture predates thailand by over 1000 years..
* notice how when u look up thai temples and how much they talk about cambodia instead of thailand, which most are located in Khmer populated ares of thailand, which is also where muay thai is prevailant.

hope i informed many of you.

Bokator

2007-09-12T00:54:00.000-07:00

I know the roots of Muay thai is from the Khmer martial arts dated back to the pre-Angkor period. But the will still think it's of Thailand.

I wonder if the actor Tony Jaa(real name: Phnom) of Surin identify himself as Khmer or Thai.
Video

I just know that the K1-Max Champion of whom I am a fan, Buakaw Por Pramuk (real name Sombat) is also a Khmer Surin.

I'm proud of them, I'm proud of khmer blood and khmer cultrue.

To my dissapointment, the world know them as Thai. The Japanese television says he is thai, that's why I thought he was thai. My doubt was, looking at his face, he look much Khmer.

Purpose of the Life

2007-08-31T23:07:00.000-07:00

some quotes:

1:
「生きてるだけでまるもうけ」
という名言を残しています。解釈は人それぞれですが、生きるということは手段であって目的とか価値とかは存在しない、そんな気がするのです。生きていればどんな事にだって「できる可能性」はありますからね。その可能性があるだけでもまるもうけなんだとボクは解釈しています。
　強いて言うなら、その可能性の中からいくつか自分で選んだものが「生きる目的」になるのでしょう。その目的を選ぶためにも生きてください。

2:
『人は生きる意味を探す為に生きている』

3:
「天上天下、唯我独尊」とは、「我々人間は、大宇宙広しといえども、たった１つの、尊い目的を果たすために、この世へ生まれてきたのだ」という意味である。
　言い換えれば、「人生には万人共通の目的がある。どんなに苦しくても、その目的を果たすまで、死んではならない」と力強く断言されたお言葉なのだ。
　その目的とは、苦悩の根源を断ち切り、『本当の幸福』になること以外にない。まさに、全人類が、日夜、真剣に追い求めているものである。

Goal of August

2007-08-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

This month challenges :

1. L-P-V Gain Sched (LFT)
2. Understand more about LMI
3. Virtual NZ problem

Fresh Employees

2007-07-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

There will be about 200 fresh employees entering the company. Among these, there is only me who is a foreigner. So I wont be able to find a foreigner companion. I really worry about that because working is different from studying. At school, even if you dont have a friend, you can study. But at company you have to work in team with high responsibility. What make me worry is that I'm ot good at communicating with people. hmmm...

Visa

2007-06-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Now I got you Passort. Uff... You dont know how much I was waiting for you. Be with me to Europ, I'll take care of you. I'll do anything to protect you. I really can't go alone without you. (hehe, they wont let me enter without you).

How to develop

2007-05-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

How to develop the research. With application or theory? The theory is very difficult. Not sure that I can do it. Will try anyway.

International Conference

2007-05-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

First time to present in the international conference. Dont know if I can do it. Will try my best. Ofcourse will enjoy the after conference stay. But still have trouble with the visa. When will you give the Visa? So troublesome. Nothing can do but wait. Document for visa are:

1. Application forms with aggrement and photo
2. 9800 Yen
3. Aiplane booking
4. Insurance
5. Bank statement
6. Passport with Reentry (At least 3 moths remains after the returning day)
7. Invitation letter
8. Scholarship certification
9. Student enrollment
10. Hotel booking
11. Alien card

At Last...

2007-05-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

I did it at last! Well, hope that the company matches me. Hope I have chance. Hope to build a career.
Hope to have a place to live. Hope ... Also afraid that, Afraid that....
Full of hope and fears.

Pray for me !!!!!

Design

2007-05-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today, want to make it look better so that I may come to see it often. Will try with the HTML tag.

Long Absence

2007-05-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

Hmm, I have been away from your for a while blog. In this long absense, I feel that there are many things happened to me and that I should post in this blog. Well I was mostly about Job hunting, which I haven't performed well. What troubled me the most is the SPI in Japanese. But also, some say that I'm too dark ... Oh my budha, what I should do about this? Well, but anyway, I think it's the problem of matching. I will go to the place they need me. I will love sb whos loves me. Because, I can't change, I dont have confidence that I can change myself for you.

Still there have many things to do... Research, Conference.... And what bothers me most is my laziness !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ganbaranakucha cha cha ............

Factory Visit

2006-11-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

During the visit, they presented about hiring international students. They said:

1. There is no disctinction between Japanese students and international students
2. The salary and chance for promotion is the same.
3. What they expect from Int stu is their language ability(Native language, English). (to become the bridge of Japanese and International world)
4. No limit in age and nationality.
5. Applicants should be able to communicate in Japanese.
6. Int stu will be trained in Japan for several years before they go abroad.
7. Company will support sorts of administative procedures. (Visa, Permanent stay...)
8. There are more merits in hiring Int stu more than dismerit.

Decision Support Methods

2006-11-17T00:31:00.000-08:00

When it's time to do an important decision. I'm really afraid of choosing the wrong way. I keep thinking and thinking but I cant reach the decision. I know now, the problem is there are too many elements I cant process all. So, I'll write them down on a paper and use decision support methods like:

Pros and Cons Analysis
Kepner-Tregoe(K-T) Decision Analysis
Analytic Hierarchy Process (AHP)
Multi-Attribute Utility Theory(MAUT)
Cost-Benifit Analysis (CBA)
Custom Tailored Tools

Hand Phone

2006-10-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I was 2+ when started to use hand phone. Now, 'YOU' is very important to me. Not only for communication but as a friend, because you are one of a few that is always with me. Usually, when I feel stressed, I find myself holding you in hand, but end up with just seeing the time when I recognize. You are the best friend, you are trustful, you never lie. When I check my friends inside you, you make me recall about the good memory I had. You even show me their face. How gentle you are. You know everything about me, my family and my friends. You are clever, you are ful of courage. I really need you to connect with my real world. You help sending my emotion to the people I think about. Your sweet shout make me excited to guess about the person who ask you to call me. When I go somewhere faraway, I really need you to show me the way, because you are so clever, you know everything. Only onething, I sometimes forget to bring your food. Not so long you fall asleep. You know, I worry alot about you.

I dont want to change your id cuz I have deep passion on you. Ofcourse I dont want to change your body. But you trouble me when you get old, you eat too often, but you timely loose your power. I'm sorry I have to change. But I only revive your body, your soul is always the same, we are connected. I can't think of not having you. I need you, I love you!

What Kind of Job?

2006-10-07T21:54:00.000-07:00

When you look for a job, what do you consider?

1. Income, base pay, incentive pay.
2. Working condition
3. Working environment
4. Content of the job
5. Can you learn from the job?
6. Promotion
7. Responsibility
8. Company, Industry, leadership, philosophy
9. Do you like the job or not?
10. Lenth of contract
11. Work/life balance
12. Relationship, colleague

What else?

Purpose of Your Life

2006-09-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought, what is the purpose of your life? What are you born for ? How should you live your life? Very difficult question. I can't answer, can you?

1. Human is born to raise children? Not really because when your children grow up, there is no meaning for your life.
2. Human is born to work? So what do you work for? When you dont have work, you should die?
3. Human is born the help others? ---> Why ? Why you have to help?
4. Human is born to learn? Why you have to learn? What do you learn for?
5. Human is born to fulfil their ambitious? If you don't have any ambition, you should die?
6. Human is born to invent? for what?

How to Treat

2006-09-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

When you have many friends. You can't usually treat them equally. When they know they may not happy with you. Oh, so difficult... need experience

How to Live a Life

2006-09-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Life is so tough. Many problem to think about. When you are at the turning point. You have to decide. You have to move. I'm so scared of the responsibility I have to bear. Who can help? No one. If there is some one, who will be the person. No, no one. Your family? No. Your friends? No. No one, only you only you.
Well, I'll take on all the responsibily. I dont have any confidence, but hope it's not the last chance I have.
Is living a life an Optimization problem? I beleive. I beleive. If so can you write it down. Well,

maximize {pleasure, happiness, life expectancy,... ? }
minimize {anger, illness, pain, hatred,... ?}
subject to :
1. human respect the natural law
2. law is not perfect
...

If it can be express numerically then you can solve. But how many variables do I need? what are they?

Guilty

2006-05-28T05:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Enjoyed too much this weekend. Feel exhausted and guilty.

AOE

2006-05-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

Week end coming !

Long awaited Week-end is coming. Let's enjoy !!